i have nothing to say here.

Zodiac Signs and the weapons they'd use for murder, and how they'd do it.

  • Aries: a knife, lots of stab wounds, especially ones in the face- most likely a rage kill. After they were done stabbing you, they'd start ripping you limb from limb, even if you were already dead.
  • Taurus: Their bare hands, and they'd strangle you to death. They'd stare into your eyes intensely as they suffocated you to death, maybe even adding in a few dramatic "I got you in the end, you know." phrases while doing it.
  • Gemini: It all depends on what is convenient for them to use as a murder weapon- they're clever, so they'd figure it out quickly. Most cannibals are Geminis, so they'd probably eat you afterwards. If you really fucked them over, maybe they'd cut off your hands and watch you bleed to death, probably laughing while doing it.
  • Cancer: They'd take you to the beach and find a secluded area only to tie you to a boulder in the shallows of the beach and watch the tide slowly drown you and sea creatures start to pick at your helpless/crying for help corpse.
  • Leo: They'd make a whole sport of it- they'd find a bunch of really sadistic, fucked up people on the black market and put you in a pit filled with big cats (especially lions), you'd here "let the games begin!" and a spotlight would come on the death pit as your torn to shreds.
  • Virgo: They'd make it look like an accident somehow. Regardless, no one would ever find out that they did it, because they'd cover their tracks well enough.
  • Libra: Similar to the virgo one, but they'd definitely pretend to be distraught by what happened, and mask that they were involved really well...but in order to get you back, they'd get your family, your friends, and other people you cared about to show THEM sympathy, and to be on their side.
  • Scorpio: Succinolcholine injection after chloroforming the person helpless. (sp? A horse tranquilizer that is extremely hard to detect and basically make the person POWERLESS to do ANYTHING except suffocate to death. It makes all muscles go soft.) and they'd talk to you about how powerless and helpless you were until you died.
  • Sagittarius: beating the shit out of someone until they were literally an unrecognizable bloody mass.
  • Capricorn: Shooting someone in the head, mafioso style. They'd want it to be quick and clean, and they'd have organized a team to cover for them, dump the body, and probably hired virgo to hide the evidence.
  • Aquarius: It'd either be something really strange, whacky, and off the wall, like killing someone in the middle of a play by planning to have a stage light dropped on them, or they'd make an example of you in front of a bunch of their "followers" which they'd most likely have if they were crazy enough to kill.
  • Pisces: They'd capture you and play surgeon, the whole time ranting and raving about "how it feels" to feel pain as intensely as the emotional pain that they feel. They'd make sure that the kill took a long time so that they had a captive audience for a long time- another reason they'd prolongue it is they'd enjoy being the predator instead of the victim for once.
[Flash 10 is required to watch video]

clumsy-disposition:

flippantthoughtsx:

blu3bl00d:

vipvictor:

Will Smith and Gary Barlow Do ‘The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’ Rap

probably the greatest thing ever

I can’t believe this happened. Beautiful. 

(via dianadidthat)

sarahisawizard:

lmfao.

(via breegitte)

dirtroadkindagirl:

hahahhaha Jakeeeeeeeeeeee

dirtroadkindagirl:

hahahhaha Jakeeeeeeeeeeee

(Source: nevver, via dianadidthat)

reading the UCLA Class of 2016 post on how everyone failed the stats test and felt like they barely passed makes me feel so much better about myself. i’m glad i have a teacher whose tests make the AP test look like a joke. :)

yeahwriters:

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION.

(via el1zabeth-ta0)

My dad just emailed me this huge list of puns oh my god

  • I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
  • When chemists die, they barium.
  • Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
  • I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
  • I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
  • This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
  • I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
  • I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
  • They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
  • We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
  • Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
  • Broken pencils are pointless.
  • I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
  • What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
  • I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
  • All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
  • I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
  • Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
  • A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
  • The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
  • Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

n0ntoxic:

unknownskywalker:

Tidying Up Art by Ursus Wehrli

Wehrli takes everyday scenes of disorder and rearranges them into neat rows, sorted by different attributes such as color, size, shape, and type, etc.

OCD art, i love it

(via el1zabeth-ta0)

vashappeninariana:

That’s me everyday for a whole month. :’(

vashappeninariana:

That’s me everyday for a whole month. :’(

(Source: colettegibbons, via shella-avenue)

[Flash 10 is required to watch video]

precums:

literally the best commercial I’ve ever seen

(Source: carlop, via dianadidthat)